First you need to figure out what upsets you about the family. Therefore you can decide on how much you can tolerate from the family.. Here are some examples of some really upsetting circumstances:
- Visiting too often
- Staying too long
- Calling on the phone too often or too little
- Meddling in your business
- Trying to tell you how to live your life
Don't let your feelings effect your marriage or relationship with your spouse, as the family will only be in town for a short while.
Try to keep family busy by giving them options and things to do to give you some peace for yourself for the holidays too, after all the holidays should be enjoyed by every one inlcuding you !
Here is a list of things that will help you establish better out-of-town family visits:
- Determine the date of arrival early enough in advance, to everyone's agreement.
- Establish plans of what you and your relatives would like to do when they visit.
- Decide ahead of time how long you want your relatives to stay and let them know.
- If you will have other obligations during their visit, let them know ahead of time to prevent disappointment.
and the best piece of advise that can ever be given, and it just does not have to pertain to the HOLIDAYS ! As the experts advise !!!
Keep Your Problems to Yourselves !
You might think that talking about problems you are having with your spouse might help you become closer to your mother-in-law. Don't do it! Asking advice about a recent argument with your spouse is a severe breach of trust. Never, ever, talk about negative things in your relationship with anyone except your spouse (or a therapist). It's extremely destructive. Even if you do not mean any harm, you are undermining the trust that the two of you have. You will not only alter other people's perception of your spouse, but whatever you discuss will be remembered by the other person long after you and your spouse have resolved the issue.
Incerp for mother in law taken from family education